Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Venting

Well, things have been kind of crazy. I won't go into details about some of it until later, when I have more time, but I need to finish some paperwork before bed tonight so I can get up for a training tomorrow for my full-time job (which is going pretty well, by the way), but there are a couple of things I need to get off my chest.

The last few months, I've been really into genealogy. I've managed to trace my maternal grandparents' side of the family back to the 1600s, both the Hollemans (grandfather) and the Moores(grandmother), and a good distance with my adoptive dad's side as well. But of course, sometimes I still wonder about my birthfather. It's always been in the back of my mind since I was told, at age 12, that I was adopted. I feel like I've come a long way from it being as heavy of a burden as it was when I was a teenager, with all the anger issues I had and such. But it's still something I think about. I guess you'd have to be an adoptee to really understand. I still think about him sometimes, what he may be like, if I should contact him, etc, but have never known how/when since my family is generally uncooperative, and his name is kinda common in my hometown area. Well, I found my uncle, his brother. He died in 2010. I know it's him because I found on the obituary, a memorial page with pictures. I definitely recognize the little girl in some of the pictures, as the cousin I accidentally met soon after finding out I was adopted. We were in class together in 7th grade. When I found out I was adopted, I told a friend. One of the few things my parents did tell me, was his name. My friend noticed that this girl had the same last name, so she told the girl, and it turned out we were cousins. According to the obituary, he has a sister, my father lives in Baltimore (if it is the same family), and another sister who is already deceased. Plus a couple grandkids, 3 nephews, and one niece, which makes me wonder if I have other siblings out there too. For all I know some of the pictures in the memorial page could have my father in them. I really don't know what to do with this information now. But it's at least more than I've known since I was 12.