Movie Review: Prayers for Bobby

Today I'm doing a movie review. I first saw the book at a local Barnes and Noble, then saw the movie on Netflix. I have yet to read the book, but after seeing the movie, I definitely want to.


Prayers for Bobby is about a young man, Bobby, who lives in a fundamentalist Christian family and is struggling with his sexuality. Once his family finds out that he is gay, his mother tries incessantly to change him through making him spend more time with his father, therapy, Bible verses, etc. Eventually it drives him away, and he commits suicide by jumping off of a bridge in front of an 18-wheeler.

After his death, his mother goes through a great deal of soul-searching. She reads up on homosexuality, seeks counsel with the minister of her local Metropolitan Community Church , and visits her local PFLAG (Parents, Familes, Friends of Lesbians and Gays) chapter. After coming to terms with her guilt, she becomes a very outspoken member of PFLAG.

This movie resonated with me on many levels. Although my questioning my sexuality over the years wasn't a directly contributing factor to my own temptations for suicide, I definitely relate to the feeling that you don't belong, feeling that people wouldn't accept you if they knew the "real" you, and yes, there were times I even had an idea of how I would kill myself. If I'm truly honest with myself, one of the primary factors in not attempting it wasn't some noble idea of knowing things would get better or not wanting to take the easy way out. It was the fear that I was such a major failure in life, I wouldn't even be able to properly off myself, and thus have to deal with the questions, the accusations, the guilt, that is directed towards people who struggle with suicide, by people who are well-meaning but don't understand.

Growing up in an extremely religious family, and being someone who is still in the closet to that family, I can't help but compare the mother in the movie with what I imagine my own experience would have been if I had explored and chosen to accept my sexuality sooner, while I was still living with my family. My mom made casual comments over the years about sending us to therapy if either one of us ever said we were gay. She only thinly veiled the disgust and disapproval in her voice when she told me my stepcousin is a lesbian. While I know that I will come out to her - especially now that I'm in a wonderful relationship with a great guy - it's still something that makes me sad to have to prepare for the worst for. Family is family, and it seems you're stuck with your family because of it. Can't help where you're born. I guess there's still that part of me who struggles for the never-available, complete acceptance of my family that I never really felt I had for one reason or another.

But anyways, this movie definitely is worth a watch.

Spirituality of Pi

I've done book reviews on this blog before, but I don't believe I've ever taken the time to do a movie review. As I've been in a spiritually contemplative mood lately, I'm going to mention one of my favorite spiritual movies, Life of Pi.  I haven't read the book yet, but after seeing the movie, I greatly want to.

Life of Pi follows a young boy, Pi Patel, as he is stranded in the middle of the ocean following a storm, as he and his family are attempting to emigrate from India to Canada in search of a new life after a failing economy in their hometown.

The movie starts out in  recounting Pi's life in India prior to the shipwreck. It tells of his Hindu mother and atheist father, and Pi's own interests in spirituality. I love the philosophy of Pi. In the movie states the concept that "faith is a house with many rooms, and why not visit all the rooms?". As a child he is exposed to the Hindu faith through his mother. At another point, he wanders into a Christian church and is then exposed to Jesus. Soon after, he passes the town's Muslim district, and comes into contact with Islam (He states that "God introduced himself to me as Allah."). With each three, he finds some way of expressing spirituality that appeals to him, beginning to pray to Jesus and cross himself, as well as pray five times a day in the manner of Muslims. One of my favorite lines is when he is doing his bedtime prayers. He prays over an icon of Vishnu, and he prays "Thank you, Vishnu, for introducing me to Jesus". Throughout the movie, he interchangeably prays to Vishnu, Allah, "God", Krishna, etc., with the understanding that it's all just different ways to pray to the same Higher Power... "One mountain, many roads" so to speak. By the end of the movie, he has told two different versions of events, and then asks the novelist whom he is telling his story to,  "In both stories, I'm stranded at sea. In both stories I suffer great pain, and lose my family. Which story do you prefer?"(paraphrase). Once the journalist gives his answer, Pi, responds, "And so it is with God."

I find myself thinking about that more frequently as I'm getting into a more spiritual phase, as drama seems to finally be dying down a little bit compared to what 2013 has been overall. I have a philosophy similar to Pi's, where my own spirituality is influenced by Christianity, Buddhism, and nature spirituality. So am I Christian? Am I Buddhist? Am I Pagan? The older I get, the more I realize, yes, and no. I am a follower of Christ. Rather than the standard, Trinitarian view of Christ, I hold to the Pelagian view, in which Christ was sent not to suffer and die for sins, but to awaken us to our true potential. My Christianity is equally influenced by the Gnostic Scriptures as they are the canonical Bible. I also subscribe to the Buddhist Four Noble Truths, which describe the cause of suffering and how to rid oneself of suffering, a way of living your life. I try to honor nature, and recognize the cycles of nature and my connection to Mother Earth.  To me, we often have different tastes in music, movies, books, food, etc., and we don't limit ourselves to just one genre. So why box myself in when it involves spiritual matters? To do so would be denying other parts of who I am.

All in all, I can't recommend this movie enough.