So I haven't been online in, pretty much forever. A lot has changed these last few months.
Religiously, I feel another shift. I feel myself not feeling as connected to the deities/angels/spirits that I consider my patrons. When I think of the divine, I seem to be doing so more in a true Panentheistic fashion - feeling the connection of the Divinity within and beyond, rather than individual patrons. This is something I have been contemplating lately, and feel I will continue to mull over. In particular, questions come to mind: What does this mean for my patrons? Is my time with them through, and they presented primarily to help me to transition from fundamentalist Christianity to a more progressive, esoteric, natural one? How will this affect my Druidic practices and my plans to join AODA in the future?
I've taken some big steps in emotional growth. In one particular conversation with my mother, she accused me of basically being in a cult. This all started because I agreed with someone else's statement that football player Tim Tebow was using his religion to get fame and attention. I succinctly told her that I'm almost 30 years old, by the time she was my age she was married with two kids, and it's time I'm treated like an adult. Long story short, she has certainly increased in her evangelizing (now, EVERY conversation turns to a conversation about Jesus), but I'm becoming more assertive and open about when I disagree with her and my reasons for such.
My church now has a new minister, and he is WONDERFUL. He was raised Baptist in Hawai'i, went to a conservative Baptist undergraduate school, a Unitarian-Universalist seminary, has worked with prison ministries and interfaith initiatives, and preached at a progressive Baptist church, now coming to my United Church of Christ church. His personal spirituality includes heavy emphasis on nature spirituality and Zen, and has even noted some Gnostic scriptures on occasion. A good fit for my personality, for sure :)
I have finally completely booked my vacation for Washington, DC, for the end of May. This will be my first real vacation without my family in years, and I am beyond excited.
Last week was bittersweet. It began with the death of my family's 13 year old dog, of congestive heart failure. I was saddened by it, but I'm glad she is in peace, and wish her luck in her next life. Also last week, I graduated. I now have my Masters in Social Work. I still have some steps (and a lot of money) to go in order to become licensed and become more eligible for better job opportunities. I was sad to leave my internship, and they gave clear indication that if they could, they would have hired me right then. This is also the first time in my life that I haven't either been in school, or been working to get back into school. Quite frankly, I don't know what to do with myself, and I'm going into a bit of a quarter-life crisis. Again. I'm just so sick of the corruption at my job, and especially now that I have my Master's, I'm increasingly impatient to get to what comes next.
It's amazing what can happen in one final semester.
My Grandfather, the Diarist
8 hours ago