CYF Religious Education: Session 2: Letting Your Light Shine

The opening words for today's RE lesson on the Church of the Younger Fellowship is comprised of a passage in the Bible, Matthew Chapter 5:14-16, which speaks of letting your light shine on your good works. The exact passage is:

You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. No one after lighting
a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lamp-stand, and it gives light to all in
the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see
your good works….
-Matthew 5:14-16

The reflection is by a minister, who states that she always wanted to be a jazz singer, and admired Ella Fitzgerald, until she realized she had no musical talent whatsoever. The following passage sticks out to me:

"At that moment, I had a crazy thought that might pass as a revelation. What if some
crazy flip-flop were the case? I thought to myself. What if I were to find out that years
ago a beautiful jazz singer had dreamed of being me? What if, more than anything else,
this singer wanted to possess the gifts and talents I possess? Indeed, what if she had
dreamed me up and her highest aspirations and life-long yearnings were supposed to
come to fruition through me? How ungrateful I would be to stand here wasting my
time dreaming of being her!
What would happen if each of us were to find out that we were the creation of
someone else’s dreams? I wonder: Would that change the way we live our lives?
Would we spend less time thinking about what we don’t have or aren’t? Would we
spend more time cherishing who we are? Would we approach life a bit like a treasure
hunt, and spend our time looking for the gifts the dreamer had hidden in us? Perhaps
we would stay awake at night, not worrying by wondering—wondering what great
works or wonders this dreamer had made us capable of making real?"

This is something, I admit, I struggle with. Even now, I always find myself comparing myself with others, usually in the negative. I have musical talent, but lack the showmanship and ability to overcome stagefright (not to mention, at this point in my life, opportunities). I work well with kids and have made many good friends, but still struggle with a great deal of shyness and social anxiety. I always wish I could be taller. Bigger. More outgoing. More comfortable in my own skin. You get the idea. Maybe my New Year's resolution for the upcoming year should be to rid myself of the negativity and pressure I always put on myself.

I will close with this session's discussion questions:

"What are you particularly good at?": Music. Photography. Helping people who are less fortunate - including animals.

"What are you proud of having accomplished?:" becoming generally self-sufficient when I never thought I would be able to. Surviving grad school to the extent that I have.

"What talents do you have?": I see this as a repetition of question #1, so I will refer to the above.

"How do you let your light shine in the world?": I suppose, by being the best person I can be. I'm still trying to figure out just how - and if - I'm impacting the world around me. I think this is something I will always question.

Finding Your Path: a course from the UU Young Adult Office by Rev. Michael Tino

So, I know I haven't been posting a lot lately. Partly that's because, as mentioned in my previous post from last night/early Wednesday AM, I've been busy with school (brought my GPA up to a 3.4 by the way, 4.0 for the semester), and on a much lesser scale, work (I'm pretty much broke right now). But mostly, it's been because I've been in a funk. Emotionally and spiritually stagnant.

Today, I remembered the site I am still a member of and used to frequent, although much less so in recent months, the Church of the Younger Fellowship, and its parent site, the Church of the Larger Fellowship, both listed in my links section. I was pleased to see that the Church of the Larger Fellowship is transitioning to a new website with some new features, such as an online church service on Sunday evenings and Monday afternoons, which I believe I will begin watching.

The CYF also now has a "Religious Education" feature, comprised of (so far) 36ish daily readings and reflections, with discussion questions. In effort to bring new life into my spirituality and get myself out of this funk, I think I'm going to read through those daily devotionals, and blog summaries and my responses to discussion questions here.

Today's reading began with an intro, followed by some opening words for Chalice Lighting. The following poem was then made the focus reading, written by a CYF member and the writer of this day's devotional:

"Wild Night Wind
Michael Tino
I want…
…a hug each morning to greet the brand new day, and one each night to bid it farewell.
…to know love as vast as the sky and as pure as the first winter snow.
…a sandy beach each summer to keep me cool and a blazing fire each winter to warm
me.
…to soar through the air like a bird, if only to remind myself of the magic and wonder
of being earthbound.
…a wild night wind to rustle the trees as I drift to sleep, and to call my dreams by name.
I want…
…to feel peace deep down in the core of my being.
…a babbling brook to sit by and notice the passage of time and seasons and the
unfolding of life before me.
…a room to call my own in which I can be free to create, to develop, to learn, or simply
to sit in a warm ray of sunshine streaming in through the window, amidst the dancing
dust faeries and shadows.
I want…
…to seek justice, simple and true, and to pass it like water for all to drink from.
…to be wholly a part of creation, in concert with beings and mountains and trees,
treating all which surrounds me as part of myself.
…a compass, true and steady, to point me the way I’ve been longing to go and to help
me remember the way that I’ve been.
I want…
…a steaming pot of Earl Grey tea to share with a friend and inspire conversation (or
simply silence, in gentle recognition that nothing needs to be said).
…to stand tall and firm, proud of my accomplishments but, at the same time, humble in
my minuteness in the glory of all being.
…to know God as the loving spirit in each of my breaths, transcending the boundaries
of all space and time and transforming my breathing into being.
And what do you want in the deepest center of your very being?
What quickens your heart and shortens your breath at the mere thought of it entering
your life?
What sounds an echo in the back of your soul and enters the symphony within you like
a high, insistent flute, calling your name over and over?
Is it peace? Is it love? Is it harmony with all beings?
Or is it a mission, a calling, a purpose?
Is it a reason that you want?
Or a question?
Or an answer?
Is it fields of purple heather swaying softly in the breeze
or libraries of knowledge to satisfy your growing curiosity?
Is it woolly socks in winter to keep your toes warm as you snuggle on the couch
watching the snow fall
or maple trees in autumn, blazing colors bright and true like wild fire on the mountains
towards the far horizon?
Is it a fountain in the summer, spraying, misting, sprinkling you with water and forming
puddles to wiggle your toes through
or a seedling in the springtime, pushing up through loamy soil and creating life from a
dormant shell?
What is it you really want?
An afternoon, a kitten, or a bicycle?
Or maybe justice like the waters
and pride
and love
and wonder?
A cup of tea, a ray of sun?
A peaceful, quiet moment?
Perhaps a hug to start each day, and one to fall asleep by,
or a wild night wind that moves the trees
and sparks your dreams
and lets you know possibilities without end."
 -- source - although it may not work if you haven't joined


The following Questions for Reflection are then presented, along with my answers:
"Who are you? Introduce yourself to the group": No introductions needed here, as most of my readers know me, and to any who don't, I wish to simply stick with "Chad" or "Chadly".

"What do you want?": I want to help others. I want to live and work somewhere I find fulfilling on every level. I want to travel. I want to fall in love and have a family.

"What are your dreams?": To make a difference in the world, and to find spiritual fulfillment.

"How have they changed the way you live your life?": I moved to be closer to the sea - although I am contemplating a return to the mountains via Asheville, depending on my luck finding work in Charleston after school. I do love the ocean though. I chose a career field not based on money, but my desire to make a difference in the world. I try to get out in nature as much as I can. I've become much more open minded, and draw from many spiritual traditions - Gnosticism, Christianity, Druidry, and Zen - in my personal spiritual path.

"What do you hope to get out of this curriculum?": If nothing else, to give me some new ideas and concepts to think about.

Evaluations

Well, I'm finally finished with another semester at school. Only one more to go. Things have been crazy busy, hence my long absence. I'm now back in North Carolina, visiting family for the holidays.

The holidays are always an interesting time for me. I feel nostalgic for the better moments of my childhood. At the same time, it pulls me into spiritual contemplation and evaluation of my spiritual beliefs, as I ponder the deeper meanings behind the winter holidays I celebrate - Christmas (including daily Advent readings through a UU Christian Advent devotional I have printed out), with a more Gnostic, metaphorical interpretation than my mainstream family; Yule, with the acknowledgement of the changing seasons and the longing for warmer days; and Chalica, the 7 day long Unitarian- Universalist themed holiday, modeled after Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, in which each day represents one of UU's 7 Principles. I did experiment with Hanukkah  for a couple of years and, while it's still in my "rituals" section of my Grimoire, I feel I have not connected with that holiday as well as the aforementioned.

One thing in particular I find curious, is that even though I attend a Christian church, consider myself Christian - even though I do also practice Druidry and minimally interact with the Unitarian Universalists online - every time I take the Beliefnet religion quiz, which I do periodically, my top religions are almost always Neo-Pagan, UU, and Mahayana Buddhism. Now, I have been attempting to incorporate some Zen into my life, and once I get back to my regular post-Advent daily spiritual practices, I will be including my book, "The Buddhist Bible" in my daily readings (along with my NRSV Bible and "The Other Bible" which contains various Gnostic writings). But seeing as how I have had very little exposure to actual Buddhism (whereas I have had exposure to the others, via local Pagan groups I've visited, and visiting the local UU church), I've been curious as to what that "looks like", so to speak. How does it fit in with my various beliefs? Should I consider just becoming Buddhist? What about the fact that here in the West, many view Buddhism as a philosophy, not just a religion, and as such practice Christianity (or other religions) with a Buddhist flavor, so to speak? The benefit of being spiritually eclectic, as I seem to be, is that I feel the freedom to incorporate what works. It can be a bit confusing, sometimes though, and frustrating, when I'm not sure where I "fit in". Especially when it comes to being a part of a faith community and/or meeting others of like mind.

A Quick Thought on Pelagius

So, I do believe that Pelagius is one of my favorite early Christian theologians. Living around the 400s CE, he taught against Augustine's view of original sin and the inherent badness of humanity and nature, believing everything was good. Here are a few of my favorite quotes from a book I borrowed from a fellow Celtic Spirituality bookclub member, entitled The Letters of Pelagius: Celtic Soul Friend:


“Many people out of ignorance claim that man is not truly good because he is capable of doing evil. In saying this they are denying the perfect goodness of God’s creation. In fact man is truly good for the very reason that those people say he is not: that he has freedom to choose good or evil. Within the heart of man there is no overwhelming compulsion to act in one way or the other; whereas animals are compelled to act according to their instinct, human beings have free will, enabling them to control their actions. And within the mind of man there is the capacity of reason: human beings are able to consider rationally the consequences of different courses of action. It is the combination of free will and rationality which makes human beings superior to all other creatures. There would be no virtue in doing good by instinct, without exercising free will and reason. But when people, after due consideration, decide to do good, then they truly share in the goodness of God.

                     To Demetrias”


"By granting us the wonderful gift of freedom, God gave us the capacity to do evil as well as do good. Indeed we would not befree unless God had given us this ability: there is no freedom for the person who does good by instinct and not by choice. In this sense the capacity to do evil is itself good; evil actions are themselves signs of the goodness of God. A person might say that the world would be a better place if everyone within it were always good and never evil. But such a world would be flawed because it would lack one essential attribute of goodness, namely freedom. When God created the world he was acting freely; no other force compelled God to create the world. Thus by creating human beings in his image, he had to give them freedom. A person who could only do good and never do evil would be in chains; a person who can choose good or evil shares the freedom of God.

                     to Demetrias”


“Come now to the secret places of the soul. Let us each inspect ourselves with care, looking at the emotions which stir our hearts and the thoughts which run through our minds. Let us learn  the essential goodness of the heart from the heart itself; let us learn the goodness of the mind from the mind itself. Why do we blush with guilt or tremble with fear whenever we commit a sin? Because our hearts and minds are good, and so recoil from evil. Why do we shine with joy and dance with delight whenever we do good? Because our hearts and minds are good, and so rejoice at every good action. A murderer may try to conceal his identity, but the torments of his conscience are worse than any punishment which the state authorities could inflict. An innocent man who is wrongly accused of some crime may be imprisoned and tortured; but even when his body cries out with pain, there will be peace and serenity within his soul, because his conscience is clear.

                        To Demetrias”


“When Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge they were exercising their freedom of choice; and as a consequence of the choice they made, they were no longer able to live in the Garden of Eden. When we hear that story we are struck by their disobedience to God; and so we conclude that they were no longer fit to enjoy the perfect happiness of Eden. And we should also be struck by the nature of that tree and its fruit. Before eating the fruit they did not know the difference between good and evil; thus they did not possess the knowledge which enables human beings to exercise freedom of choice. By eating the fruit they acquired this knowledge, and from that moment onwards they were free. Thus the story of their banishment from Eden is in truth the story of how the human race gained its freedom: by eating fruit from the tree of knowledge, Adam and Eve became mature human beings, responsible to God for their actions.

                        To Demetrias”



“How is it possible, then, for an act of disobedience to God to bring such a blessing? When Adam and Eve lived in the Garden of Eden they were like small children: they simply obeyed God’s instructions without considering the moral reasons for those instructions. To become mature they needed to learn the distinction for themselves between right and wrong, good and evil. And God gave them the opportunity to become mature by putting within the garden the tree of knowledge, by which they could learn this distinction. But if God simply instructed Adam and Eve to eat from the tree, and they had obeyed, they would have been acting like children. So he forbade them from eating the fruit; this meant that they themselves had to make a decision, whether to eat or not to eat. Just as a young person needs to defy his parents in order to grow to maturity, so Adam and Eve needed to defy God in order to share his knowledge of good and evil. By defying God, Adam and Eve grew to maturity in his image.

                           To Demetrias”

Defining Moments

"Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure... life is either a daring adventure or nothing." - Helen Keller

Today was a defining moment in my life. Never did I once think I would have the ambition, willpower, or courage to take part in a highly publicized protest, Occupy Charleston . It is, of course, an offshoot/solidarity movement in response to Occupy Wall St., which, of course, I'm assuming at this point needs little introduction.

For the Charleston, offshoot, at least, the main points of contention are basically the fact that the rich get richer, the poor get poorer. The Average Joe gets screwed, while big corporations get tax cuts, which they then use to line their own pockets while laying off the "lesser people", and throw insane amounts of money to politicians in order to bribe them into looking the other way.

I was actually torn between class, which I have on Saturdays, and attending the March.  Then I realized just how important it was for me on a personal level to participate. This movement has gotten huge. For good or ill, it will go down in the history books, just like the Civil Rights movement did in the 60s, and the Vietnam protests did in the 70s.  When my future children (or heck, even the kids I may end up seeing as a social worker/therapist), read about this and ask me "Where were you when this happened?" Did I really want to respond "Oh, I wanted to go. I wanted to show my support because I agree with their cause. But I was in class." Or did I want to say that I put my money where my mouth was, that I voiced my beliefs and finally took the opportunity to put some actions behind what I've believed for years? It's almost as if the last few years of personal growth were leading up to this moment.... the moment where I would finally be willing and able to act on my beliefs.

My grandmother is 70 years old and can't afford to retire, even if she wanted to, because they would not be able to make ends meet on her husband's disability alone. This is who I stand for.

My sister is 23 years old, in a wheelchair, and still lives with our parents. She is perfectly mentally capable (in 4th grade she was reading on an 8th grade level), only her physical body does not work like the rest of us. In spite of obtaining her Associate's Degree and over a year of Vocational Rehab and job coaches, the only job she has been able to get is a part-time, VOLUNTEER position at their local Habitat for Humanity. God only knows what will happen to her when our parents pass away. This is who I fight for.

I'm in graduate school and will be in debt for years to come. In spite of five years of undergrad, the only jobs I'm able to get until I finish my master's, are jobs where you don't even have to have an Associates to get, only a high school diploma and "some experience". I'm one of the lucky ones to have the time to go to school to HOPEFULLY get a better job afterwards (vicarious in itself because mental health is always being underfunded, and even with a Masters I'm likely to be overworked and underpaid), but not everyone gets that opportunity. They are who I stand with.

We started off in a local park. There were completed signs lying around. I grabbed a blank posterboard and marker, and made the sign that I felt the most strongly about, which could be shortened to fit on a poster: "Stand 4 the elderly and the disabled. They are the 99%".  We marched from the park, to the Visitor's Center/bus terminal, then to the business district. We then traveled past the Open Air Market and to Washington Park. Throughout we got honks and waves, generally in solidarity.

Considering Charleston's history with previous protests, such as the Civil Rights movement, I was surprised at how much cooperation and leeway we were given by the City Council. Unlike the protests going on in places such as NYC, Boston, and even the offshoots which have emerged in Europe (there are over 200 "Occupy" groups worldwide now), there were no confrontations and no arrests. It was the epitome of a polite, peaceful demonstration. There was chanting. Some people brought drums. It was made up of older people, college students, professionals, and some families brought their kids. There were no drugs and no alcohol. The regulations were that we had to remain on the sidewalk. We had to make room for passing pedestrians. We had to follow the traffic signals. Police followed along on their bikes for supervision. We split up into 3 small groups of about 35-40, in order to comply with the law that states that you must have 49 or less participants in order to be able to march without a permit. This would leave room for spectators to join in if they wished, without going over the 49 participants limit. My group almost got into trouble because by the end of the march, we had exceeded the 49 person limit, because we had amassed that many spectators-joining-in, even with the failsafes built into the process. We stopped the chanting whenever carriage tours passed by, so as not to spook the horses. Only in Charleston would you find such an interesting juxtaposition, a 1960s era demonstration, alongside a colonial era horsedrawn carriage.

After the march, I went to a local beach and worked on my photography some. It was such a beautiful day.














I will end with a video I made using pictures from the day's activities, namely the march. Whatever happens next, I know I will never regret participating in history, rather than simply watching it. As I type this, I notice that I was even on the 11:00 news, although I was smart about it and covered my face with my sign.

Minor Risks

Lately, I've been doing something very uncharacteristic of me. I've been trying new things!

I've been going to church regularly again, and resumed being more active in the Celtic Spirituality group of which I am a part. I've been recruited to help give a Sunday School lesson on Celtic Spirituality, as well as participate in an upcoming Celtic-themed worship service, both occurring in November. I have a good friend, a fellow seeker, who has been coming with me to church, so I think that has helped my consistency.

Yesterday, I had the first of four digital photography classes that I signed up for via the hospital's Student Wellness Center. It was really interesting and I learned some new tricks for my Nikon that I had never known before. The class is on Wednesdays throughout the month of October.

Today, I attended a general meeting, held at the local Unitarian church, which was held by a local group of young people who are planning an event in solidarity with the Occupy Wall St. movement, one of many "Occupy spin-offs" that have been springing up lately. It actually seems like something I really want to participate in, if my schedule allows. The meeting was attended, in addition to the expected college crowd, by a few lawyers and the local Labor Council representative, acknowledging their approval of the movement and their full support. The local news was also present, so I'm going to watch the news tonight in the hopes that I didn't end up on camera! I want to attend the march/protest/whatever when it actually does happen, but I know I can't afford to skip work for it under any circumstances (I only work 1 or 2 days a week as it is, at my place of employment), so I'm hoping it will be planned for a time in which I can participate. Their next meeting is next Thursday as well, I may go to it. Two things really surprised me about this meeting, though:

1) We actually held a vote that this would be a NONVIOLENT movement. I didn't think that was even up for discussion, much less an item to be voted on.

2) When we obviously voted to be nonviolent, this guy stormed out of the room (slammed doors and all), calling us all "ineffectual liberal jerkoffs".  To say it was a weird and awkward moment is an understatement.

The other, REALLY uncharacteristic thing that I did, was also at the Occupy meeting. I introduced myself to a girl sitting next to me.

Granted, I'm not sure how much it "counts", because she did sort of initiate conversation by asking if she could sit in the seat next to me, but yeah. Anyone who knows me, knows that I almost never make the first start at any conversation with someone I don't know. We ended up having an interesting conversation interspersed throughout the meeting. Probably better than most of the actual dates I've been on, which always seem to end in my never seeing or hearing from the girl again.

The Simple Life

 Lately, I've been recognizing the importance of simplifying my life as much as possible. I have a lot of junk. And I overload my schedule (although at the moment, I do have to do so, to an extent). And I recognize that part of my waxing and waning in consistency concerning my not-so-daily spiritual practices stem in part from my lack of living out my beliefs, particularly my Druidry, in my everyday life. So I've begun making some steps to gradually make my spirituality a more conscious part of my daily life.

To start with, I began using more public transportation when I go to my internship. I don't utilize public transit here very often because it is so inadequate compared to bigger cities. But since I am interning at the local major hospital, I have two options for getting to work: I can drive from my house to the student parking lot (about a 45 minute drive with rush hour traffic), and then take a 10 minute hospital shuttle bus from the parking lot to the actual hospital (the campus is very spread out). Or, I eventually discovered, I could take the 5-10 minute drive from my house to the local K-Mart parking lot, which serves as a Park-N-Ride station, and ride the express bus (the only public transportation here that actually seems to be effective, as their regular buses are regularly late to stops, and a 20 minute trip could take at least an hour) for free with my hospital ID badge. This obviously saves on gas. In addition, it takes me right to the hospital, shows up on time (usually), and gives me a chance to read (either for pleasure, or homework) during the trip.

I have switched to a biodegradable bedding brand for my gerbil. With the aspen shavings, if they became too badly soiled they would begin to smell, and I would have to fill up grocery bags with the dirty shavings, and toss them in the trash. This brand is not harmful to the gerbil should he ingest any of it, and when I clean out the tank, my housemate and I have begun actually sprinkling it around the trees in the backyard to use as compost.  The bedding is pellets though, which keeps me awake sometimes if he gets active at night, so I may try out a different type of similarly biodegradable bedding next time, which can still be utilized as fertilizer and won't make any noise.

Upon noticing the sheer amount of books I have - filling up my own bookshelf as well as overflowing into the bookshelf in the guest bedroom (including my textbooks), most of which I haven't even read in the 5ish years I've had them - I bought a Nook Color. Then I took several hours to catalog every book I had. I then went through my Nook, and repurchased the ones that had eBook equivalents, and threw all the books in trash bags, filling up three. I then got a big box, and sorted through the books one final time. In the box, I put the hard copies of the books I had just repurchased through Nook, along with the books I knew I would likely never get around to reading, keeping only the books that I use for my daily practice (when I do them), the books that have sentimental value, and the books that I know that I will read. The box, when completely full, will likely be donated to the local library. My bookshelf is still kind of full, but I plan on donating the rest of the books (aside from the aforementioned exceptions) as I finish them.

My next step is considering resuming recycling. My problem here is that recycling is HORRIBLE in my county. They don't even have curbside pickup, and the only place I've ever seen a recycling bin is for junk mail at the post office. However, I found bags such as these which are about $15, which look similar to the reusable shopping bags I use for groceries, which are made for recycling. I'm considering buying a set, and using those to sort out recyclables, and then just drive them to the recycling center (which, admittedly, is only about 3-5 minutes from my house). 

It feels good to be finally starting to be more proactive in my spiritual life. I'm usually so tired that I don't, or I'm so caught up in day-to-day issues that I forget. I'm realizing, though, that particularly with the demanding field of work I've chosen, it won't get any easier, so I might as well start now.