Tuesday, May 7, 2013


I really am glad I have such amazing friends. So far, all of the friends I've come out to (whether individually, or through the previous blog entry) have been nothing but supportive. Amusingly, a couple were actually basically of the "yeah, we figured that out years ago, just waiting for you to catch up" mindset. Funny how sometimes things you think are "deep, dark secrets" turn out to not be so deep, dark, OR secret.

I've decided, for pretty much obvious reasons, that unless my next relationship turns out to be with a guy, I'm not going to even bring it up with my family. We're already superficial as it is, so if I end up dating a girl again, it's really a moot point.

As I said, I updated my OKCupid profile to state that I'm bi. I haven't had much luck on dating sites overall, but I like OKCupid the best - I'm also a member of match.com, and have been on eharmony in the past, and I have a basically inactive account on PlentyofFish. I've done them all, it seems. Anyways, the reason I like OKCupid the best, is because it actually allows you to state that you're bi as an option, and search for guys and girls who are comfortable with bi guys. All of the other sites make you choose between. So for the time being, I'm searching mostly for men. Figure I may as well explore that side of me a little more and see if I have better luck. Who knows.  I will say that it seems that gay men seem to be more approachable and/or more likely to approach me. I've been talking to a few guys, gotten a couple of phone numbers. And, I have a date with a guy on Saturday evening. He does some kind of computer engineering type stuff for the Navy. Come to think of it, all of the guys except maybe one that I've gotten into real conversation with, including both this one and the other guy who I got his phone number, are in the military - the other guy is a substance abuse counselor on the Air Force Base. Anyways, Navy guy and I are going out for pizza on Saturday evening, so we will see how things go.

I guess the next step is to come out to my therapist. Weird that I'm a little anxious about that, as it's not something I've been straightforward about with her from the beginning, and I do pay her after all, and I know if she's a professional then she won't judge me. I'm still a bit anxious though. I guess I'm afraid that at some point she'll think that I'm one of those people who creates unnecessary drama for myself. I mean, look at everything else. It does seem like I get into a lot of drama, and I do wonder sometimes how much of it I subconsciously bring on myself. But, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other. Guess we'll see where things go from here. The whole experience still feels so surreal to me.

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